Slightly scuffed-up cover and folded corners

What follows is an email I recently sent to my brother Stephen. I thought you might get a kick out of it.

Dear Stephen,

I have finished Zen and the Art of Screen Writing, and am able to kindly return it at mutual convenience. It was a fantastic read; thank you so much for lending it to me.

Please pardon the slightly scuffed-up cover and folded corners. I tend to read on the subway, where books are banged about, bookmarks scarce.

Wait, I need to cop to one other thing: There’s a big coffee stain spanning pages 14 and 15. This ol’ Starbucks junkie just wasn’t paying enough attention that day. There’s also a good deal of coffee spillage on the cover, rendering the title and author illegible. This is of no concern to you, of course, as you already know full well what book it is and who wrote it.

Come to think of it, please excuse any notes I’ve made in the margins. You know, those little notations we all make in the margins of an inspiring book? I did a fair amount of that, jotting down quotes and references. You may even find the odd unrelated scribble. I’m quite sure there’s more than a few games of hangman in there, not to mention one or two grocery lists and a map of my neighborhood.

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And since we’re on the topic, I hope you weren’t too attached to pages 50 through 113. I was so struck by those chapters I took the liberty of tearing them out. Surely you wont think it selfish that I wanted those sections on hand for future reference.

Shoot. I’m forgetting about the puke, here. There is a substantial amount of puke all over the book. I’m not sure what the hell happened that day; it must have been the questionable Chinese take-out that I washed down with all those Red Bulls. At any rate, I hope all this doesn’t preclude another read on your part.

When can we meet to return the book?

Sincerely,

Chris